Perhaps just like you, my life doesn’t always go as I’d expected, hoped for or planned. And I’m fortunate to have learned tools to help when things go kiddywampass.
But the last 3 weeks have been an accelerated masterclass in letting go!
It started with moving our oldest son 500 miles away with his close friend to study somewhere wonderful. It’s totally aligned with his passion for music but not a regular college with the facilities, counselors and support that ease the transition into independence when you’re only 18.
5 days later we learned his friend was missing without a trace.
Fortunately, this has a good ending.
We have so much gratitude for the police and COUNTLESS prayers that brought relief just a few days ago. So this isn’t about getting your adrenaline going, I promise!
But while we were dealing with all the unknowns, I got caught up in the concern for my son’s friend, his loved ones and my son. I just didn’t quite know what to do or where to be.
You probably know what this feels like, right?
Then I remembered I couldn’t control what was happening or what the final outcome would be.
And that – no matter how horrid the circumstances – everyone involved is a divine being on their own expansion journey. While their exploration didn’t match what I would want for them or what they might even choose for themselves from their human consciousness, it was what they had chosen at their soul level.
I couldn’t control what was unfolding, but I could control my energy and how I was showing up for my loved ones and myself.
The tool that helped me the most to do that was to come into the present.
I bet you know how hard it is to focus, get clear or be calm if you’re wandering in the past, trying to figure out how something happened, were there any signs you missed, etc.
Or how draining it is to worry about what could happen or what might you hear in the next hour, day or week.
But the past and future don’t really exist and all we really have is here and now.
So whenever things get wobbly, you feel out of control or scattered, here are some ways to help you get back to the present.
- Pay attention to where you are and what you perceive around you, tuning into the sounds, sights, fragrances of this moment.
- Get more in your body by walking outside with your feet on the earth/grass/sand if you can.
- Eat or drink something and pay close attention to your actions, the taste, temperature, texture of what you’re taking in, the sensation as you swallow and how it feels to be in your body.
- Stop multi-tasking! Decide what you want to do next, say it out loud and then do it e.g. “I’m now going to fill up my glass of water”. Then decide what you will do next, say it out loud and do it, e.g., “I’m now going to take a sip of my water”. Repeat until you feel you’re here and doing things that you’re choosing to do consciously
- Follow your next inhale, the tiny pause of stillness, and your next exhale all the way out
Once you’re more in the here and now, you’ll have increased energy and awareness so you can more easily answer questions like these:
- What’s the next right action I can to do/offer/share/contribute at this time?
- What’s the best decision in this situation?
- What’s most needed now is ___________?
- What do I need to be at my best for myself and my loved ones?
After getting present, I was able to tune into my guidance.
I was too close to the situation and immediately knew I needed to reach out to someone who’d helped my friend locate her missing daughter a year ago (another happy ending). I received very accurate and detailed information from a gifted intuitive (and I believe a new friend) called Carolyn Clapper.
Miracles unfolded from there, including one of those soul-to-soul conversations that I’ll never forget and I hope made a difference.
So now I’m curious!
What helps you when life gets crazy? What tool, inner strength or blessing has guided you back to centre when you’ve had news that made you spin?
I’d love to hear from you and perhaps your well-earned wisdom will help another in need in the future.
P.S. If you’re here, you’re most likely a healer/care-giver too. Remember that even the best massage therapist in the world needs help getting to a knot in the middle of her own back. Take care of yourself! Recognise when you’re too emotionally involved and need to take a step back or ask someone you trust or are guided towards to help.
After all, on a planet with billions of other souls, you clearly didn’t come here to do it all by yourself:-)